So recently it was someone's birthday. Our relationship has slowly been falterting over the last few months. But I went out anyway, expecting to make the best of the night. Things started off not too bad. However, when part way into the night this person's new friend claimed themselves to be the b-day girl's new best friend...I was done. I started hanging out w/other people I knew at our locale and I will admit, that I became somewhat of a bitch. I was done, I was drunk and I was done pussy-footing around issues and not being honest and open. I started calling her out on shit about how she was letting a "roommate" treat her. And I found out some things about how she'd let this person treat her through out the years they'd known each other. I called her out on how I took care of something for her and she didn't give me credit for it. Not that she had to, but to make it seem like she did something to take care of it to a close mutual friend was bullshit. You had no shame asking for the help, you should have no shame telling people when it was given.
Anyway, I don't like how I acted, nor do I like the fact that it took my getting drunk to say anything. And of course by now it's pent up and was alcohol fueled, so it didn't come out exactly the way I would have liked it. So here's my medium for that:
Back when we had our first falling out a lot of things happened that were messed up. On both sides. First I was DEEPLY hurt by the fact that it took you over a year to call me your best friend and this new person got that title after only 3 months. Also, when you heard I had been talking shit it was from a second party source...and you STILL didn't even confront me on it. You assumed (incorrectly) that I had just done it. I wasn't talking shit, I was venting frustration about a specific event. You could have asked me, or the 3 other people who were right there in front of me what had happened. Instead you went with what someone who was down the hall, (hiding) behind a closed door, listening to the TV heard...and then told someone else who told you. Some best friend you were to me.
And then I come to find out that you screwed around with my ex. Yeah, I'm not with him now. But the fact that when I had my issues with him you scolded me for it and said he was a great guy when you knew FULL well he wasn't, is insane of you to have done...and insane for me to forgive. Some best friend you were to me.
And then when I left my ex you couldn't pick sides. You were his friend still, and wished to remain neutral. At the time I understood b/c it was such a HUGE thing to deal with in leaving him that I didn't just have time to face the reality of what you were saying. Plus you were being a good friend and letting me stay with you. But what you were saying is that you can't put a great friend over a mediocre piece of booty. Some best friend you were to me.
Through out the years we've known each other, I have always tried to be there for you, my family has been there for you, and I've tried to help you with other things as well. Your bestie has been a shitty friend, and you've admitted it...yet, you still keep pursuing her and keep taking the shit she deals to you. And then the amazing "roommate" you have mouching off of you has given you even MORE shit through the years...and you still can't push him out of your life. You can't tell him no, you can't stop giving to him. And then there's me...who did something as simple as supposedly talk shit and I got booted the hell out. I needed you to be there for me when I was making some enormous life changes...but you couldn't do that for me b/c you had to be neutral. I have given so much, and while I do appreciate the little that you have done for me, it does not even come close to equaling what I have done for you.
Let me just throw in there how months before I was getting married, when money was tight, I loaned you money with the promise that you would pay me back. Now, more than a year later, I have yet to see that money. You couldn't man up and tell your mom how you borrowed from me through out the summer, in order for her to give you some out of your financial aid. Just because I have a great job doesn't mean that I have tons of money floating around. When you want to go out and I can't...that should be a sign that maybe I actually am more broke than you. And mine isn't b/c I had fun, now can't pay bills, and won't ask the people I live with for money.
You're great at helping w/our new business. Aside from that I've just come to realize that we have grown to be completely different people whose relationship has to change. It can no longer be whatever it was before. I'm done not being treated somewhat equal to how I treat others. I will no longer be walked on and taken advantage of.
Things and people change and grow...I guess that is what life has done to us. Don't tell me you miss me, because if you truly did you'd show it more. And don't hassle me for not contacting you...what reason have you given me to want to? Remember when I tried to ask you about stuff before? You said you didn't want to talk about it...that's fine, we don't have to. I just did.
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