So in the past couple of years I reconnected w/a few friends from my high school/Coachella Valley days. One of them, when asked by her husband why we had stopped talking, told him that she couldn't remember why. Well, I know exactly why...
There were a series of events that in their onset, had absolutely nothing to do with her...just mutual friends. Some how, along the way of these events unfolding, she decided to take sides. It would have been easy to remain neutral, but instead she took whatever they were telling her as the only scenario, and confronted me about something I wasn't even doing. So it's not really like we just drifted apart, she got up in my face, I stood my ground, and the friendship ended when we were seperated and she walked away. There was no love lost when a few years later I was out at a mall in the Valley with some friends, and we crossed paths and she didn't even smile or look at any of us.
But a few years ago she found me on myspace, and wanted to rekindle the friendship. I figured that what was behind us was behind us and it was high school bull. We talked every now and then, I went out to visit her once, but mostly we texted or talked via myspace. Looking back now I realize that what she did in high school would again come back up....in two seperate ways.
First, what started the friendship being on the rocks before the big blow up was her and 2 of our very close mutual friends forgetting my b-day, but planning a party for hers which was 6 days later. It wasn't until well into the school day, once other people had wished me happy b-day and i'd received a few gifts, did any of them say anything to me (we'd seen each other several times that day, too). I was upset and hurt, more so though, by the other two b/c they were planning a suprise party, than by her.
However, in the course of rekindled friendship I have gone to her baby shower, both her daughter's b-day parties, her husband's most recent b-day, and come out and stayed there for a few other things...she came to my house warming party, and that's been it. She didn't make it to my wedding b/c she was "sick", and perpetually lost the supposed gift. Then, she dropped off the face of the planet for nearly 2 months b/c she was prego sick...but didn't want to bother me b/c I had my own stress. She calls me her best friend, but isn't treating me like it. And then here we are...birthday season. That ill fated time that doomed us in the past. I have yet to hear from her since about two weeks before my birthday. I even texted her and commented on her myspace for her b-day, and haven't gotten a response. Now I'm supposed to be planning her baby shower in march w/a mutual friend, and I just can't help wondering WHY?!?! What will be the reward for this. Not to say I do things so that others will do something for me...but why am I going to put forth money, time and effort for someone who hasn't put forth really even one of those three on me?!
Second, this is where the title comes in to play...she and a few other mutual friends are fighting w/another friend from high school. I honestly have yet to find out what the real reason behind it is. It seems (from what I've heard) that my friend is taking the word of one of the involved parties as the only scenario again. She's defending her, got involved in the arguement, and is now at odds with the other person. Because of this, another friend got caught in the middle. B/c she associates w/these two girls, the other one assumed she was on their side (I suspect she would have been if asked to pick though). Some of the things I've heard coming from both sides of this is just so typical of high school drama. However, these girls are all older than I am. Three of the four of them have families and jobs, and more important things to deal with...however, they haven't grown up all the way. It's funny to sit back and watch this all unfold...watch them act like children. I get that we all want to have friends in our lives, but that doesn't mean that they are able to do everything for us and be there all the time like they were in high school. Just something we have to deal with.
Sigh...I guess my quest to find true friends will remain ongoing.
Wish me luck!
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